10 things no one told you about having a toddler

While they drive you crazy some of the time you love your little walking and talking mini-me. Here are the ten things that no one told you about having a toddler:

1. You’ll talk about poo – all the time

Not so surprising, you are potty training around this time! It just happens when most of your time is spent trying to convince your stubborn toddler that it really is better to poo in a cool contraption like a potty rather than in their nappy.

2. You`ll become an expert negotiator

Something that’ll make you feel that you’re qualified to work for the FBI, you’ll regularly indulge ridiculous requests and rituals to get your toddler to do what you want them to do; eat dinner, take a nap or stop throwing the latest tantrum.

3. You’ll spend most nights’ ‘sleeping’ with a new bed companion

The move from the cot to the big bed may not always go smoothly. And sometimes “sleep” may mean your toddler taking up the entire bed in the middle of your and your other half.

4. You’ll make lots of new friends

Remember when you chose your friends simply because you liked them? Yeah, those days are over. Oh, those people from your past may continue to be friends, but you’ll find yourself spending the bulk of your free time (which frequently will consist of five-minute bursts on the playground) with the mams of those children your toddler picks as friends.  They really do control most aspects of your life!

5. Always remember, you live with a parrot

It can be funny at first, but it turns not-so-cute fast (like when your toddler drops their beaker and screams, “$h1t”).

6. You’ll say “Because I Said So”

We know you swore you wouldn’t, because you have very vivid memories of your own mum saying it to you. But until you have a toddler of your own, you don’t fully understanding how annoying the word why is! And sometimes it’s the only way the get around their curiosity!

7. The world is a much more dangerous place now that your little one is on the move

You got giddy when they rolled over, and you were eagerly awaiting the press record on your phone when they moved from rocking on all fours to actually crawling. But above all else, you genuinely, wholeheartedly couldn’t wait for them to walk. Now that he’s mobile, you realise how much easier it was to be responsible for the life of your toddler who couldn’t get into too much mischief.

Suddenly, coffee table corners are steel-edged knives and stairs are jagged, mountainous cliffs for you and your toddler. You’ll wonder: When did the world turn into such a dangerous place, and how will your toddler ever survive it? Relax. Look around at all of the adults walking around who clearly made it through this hazardous period. They’ll suffer a few bumps and bruises, but this, too, shall pass.

8. Tantrums Are Part of a Toddler`s Job

When your toddler is driving you crazy, they’re doing exactly what they are supposed to be doing. A toddler’s job is to push every button you have and test every boundary; that’s how they figure out the world and their place in it.

9. You will value & overuse vague responses

What happens when you die? Why does John have two dads? Why are those dogs dancing like that?

As tempting as it may be to avoid the tough or embarrassing questions, parenting pros point out that – at least for the time being – a simple, vague reply that contains at least a nugget of truth usually works.

For instance, being asked “Mummy, when I was in your tummy, how did I get there?” doesn’t mean it’s time to talk about the birds and the bees. “Daddy helped put you there,” is a perfectly OK response.

10. Those precious “AWH” moments happen at the drop of a hat

Toddlerhood is full of meltdowns, but it is also full of incredibly sweet moments – and they happen when you least expect them. And when they do, they’ll melt your heart.