I’m not the skinniest of girls, never have been, never will be. Always that little bit chubby but hey, I don’t mind. I try to lose it but it always finds me again so I’ve learned to love what I’ve got. That said, that little bit of plump never bothered me so much than when I was in the early stages of my pregnancy with my little lady. My days- it was torture! I had a belly anyway but it was slightly bigger than normal because of the teensy bump underneath so as my tummy grew, I just began to look fatter and fatter, not rounded at all like you see in the movies, those beautiful blooming babes, I was just round and flabby and since I didn’t want to tell anybody I worked with that I was pregnant or friends for that matters until I passed the 4 month mark, I felt even more self-conscious.
With that, I had to endure a few sneaky remarks about looking tired, my bigger boobs and expanding waistline. I would turn every direction in the morning to view my “bump” from different angles, seeing if there was any shape coming to it at all, wanting with every fibre of my being to see my little baby thriving, starting to grow and of course, that small bit of selfish vanity in me-wanted to see if my tummy was starting to look any more appealing and mother earth-ish than the day before.
My other half would be subjected to a barrage of questions which usually resulted in tears if he said the wrong answer (blame it on the hormones) “Look it’s there, you can see it right? “No, I can’t”- WRONG ANSWER…. then floods of tears.
The fact that I had morning sickness didn’t help much either, I would keep running to the bathroom and come back to my desk with mascara running down my face and all my lippy gone, I’m sure they all knew, they must have , otherwise they thought I was A) Was on the wine the night before or B) Constantly seemed to be the time of the month!
Eventually I got the all clear from my midwife, got to see my one and only on the big screen and got to take home my first precious scan photograph. I skipped into the office the next day and told everyone. As if overnight my bump seemed to sprout-or so I thought! The next day I had ooohs and ahhhhs-ok I’m exaggerating, I had one person say my bump looked bigger but even still that one person made my day!
From then on my tummy seemed to grow bigger and bigger, eventually turning into that hard shell that I had always anticipated but never thought I would get.
There were even times when my bump became a source of embarrassment when standing in a line at a till and baba’s foot or elbow would travel across my skin and push my dress out ( a little creepy to see, I know, but it happens).
I never thought the day would come that I would have all that but it did happen and the awkward in between stage was worth it and feels like a blip now in comparison to everything else.
….it starts with your skinny jeans being tight and ends with extra large leggings. But it’s definitely worth the wait!