Tips for involving your partner at the birth

Because mums are usually the focus of attention before the baby is born, dads can feel a bit lost. Involving your partner also means thinking about things like saying "We're pregnant" even if you think it sounds silly! It just reminds people that pregnancy is about both mum and dad.

Talking things through can help ease any worries. Does he feel he'll have a role during your labour? Maybe he thinks he'll be useless without medical training and doesn't want to get in the way? Try and reassure him there'll be lots to keep him occupied! Does he have a friend who's experienced childbirth? A chat over a pint might help put his mind at ease.

It’s not just about making dad feel useful and involved; your partner can be really handy when it comes to labour.

• Put him in charge of your birth plan – he can stick up for you if he feels you're not getting what you want and be a useful pair of ears if medical staff bamboozle you with information.
• Massage techniques, which he’ll learn at antenatal class, can provide you with some welcome relief from pain. Touch can do wonders; even if it’s just a reassuring cuddle or a back-rub to let you know he’s there.
• Ask your partner to be on hand to help you get comfy – whether that means rearranging your position when you’re lacking energy or just making sure your pillows are plumped. And a cooling flannel can feel lovely if you’re getting too hot.
• Words of encouragement can do the power of good when you’re tired, exhausted and reaching the end of your tether. Your partner can keep your spirits up and tell you what a good job you’re doing.